Moments of Growth

Looking back I realize how much of my life I've spent worrying about life.  Yes, sounds silly right?  Well, even though worry was on the surface, in between, and below, I still found those rare moments to enjoy the moment, and in spite of the fact that these moments originated from emotional impulsiveness, I do not regret any of it.  There is a certain feeling of peacefulness and tranquility one attains when, after much self criticism and destruction, one finally finds the way to forgive oneself, reflect, learn, and create the good self.  Yes, I have changed, not who I am, but instead, how I am.  Thank you to all the people in my life who have given me a little piece of themselves to me, for all of you have a place and print on the road map of my life.

When I'm Hurting

WHEN I'M HURTING
It's easier for you to walk away, than it is for you to reach out to me.
It's easier for you to look away, than it is for you to see the depth of my despair.
It's easier for you to look through me, than it is for you to see "me."
It's easier for you to distance yourself, than it is for you to really care.
It's easier for you to hear, than it is for you to listen.
It's easier for you to judge, than it is for you to understand.
It's easier for you to label, than it is to get acquainted.
It's easier for you to bask in your joy, than it is for you to feel my pain.
It's easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries, than it is for you to probe deeply into the depths of my soul.

It's easier for me to look away, than it is to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes.
It's easier for me to cry, than it is for me to talk.
It's easier for me to walk alone, than it is to risk rejection.
It's easier for me to push you away, than it is for me to be held.
It's easier for me to distance myself, than it is to trust that you won´t hurt me.
It's easier for me to die, than it is for me to face life's challenges.

It's hard for me to smile when I am hurting.
It's hard for me to talk when you won't understand.
It's hard for me to reach out when I need help the most.

If only you'd really look at me and see who I am.
If only you cared enough to reach out when I push you away.
If only you'd hold me, without asking why.
If only you'd acknowledge the validity of my feelings.

But it's the easy roads that are most often taken.
And so I hurt alone.

--Jo A. Witt
Copyright 2000 

Sweet Molecule: Experiments from Scratch

What does the title bring to mind?  I will tell you the answer later, but first I'd like to know what it brings to your mind when you hear "Sweet Molecule"... then take a look at the link.

http://www.physorg.com/news146828393.html

BANDHA YOGA ~ If You Are Interested In Health You Will Find This Incredible! ~

If you are interested in all that Bandhayoga has available, please visit this link:
http://www.bandhayoga.com/idevaffiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=694

Food for Thought ~ Peace

Photography, painting, writing, reading,learning, bicycling, hiking, swimming, yoga, meditation, breathing in the fresh air and listening to the sounds of the ocean...is all I'm in the mood for lately.....it's a great feeling... so simple yet so fulfilling ~ surround yourself around people who bring out the best in you, who inspires you to be closer to your own soul & calling.  Do things that bring you a little bit closer to earth, to the truth, and let the simple but positive natural energy flow within.   I welcome this energy, I need this energy, it heals wounds, brightens my heart and soul, and then settles like dust, it's what I call inner peace.

Do You Know What It Means to Live? The Beginning of ZIVANKA ~

Her name was Zivanka.  

Zivanka \z(i)-van-ka, ziv(a)-nka\ as a girl's name is of Slavic origin, and the meaning of Zivanka is "full of life".

In the beginning she was too little to understand, she was a baby.  As a child, she was still too young to understand.  Then as a teenager everything to her became a big grey cloud of confusion, distraction, perplexity, turmoil, and insecurity.  Zivanka really didn't know why she was on such a dark road under a dark grey cloud, but she assumed it had something to do with her "already implanted personality", her own doing, her own fault.  Whatever was happening around her since the day she was born until she reached about 14 years of age, had affected her life tremendously, causing a domino effect for years to come....of course she was oblivious to it, and many years of life just passed her by like water running in the sink.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/87/244272584_661dd02877.jpg

~ One can only feel life in the present moment, you miss life if you run to the future or get stuck in the past ~

Zivanka, not only did she not feel life, she did not know how to live, she did not grasp the understanding of life.  The future for her was always a very distant place for her.  She never imagined she would be in the future.  She couldn't deal with the present moment and all she had learned was from the past.

Imagine yourself trying to get to the airport, you have a flight to catch, it is the last flight that leaves out of your area to take you to a safe place, because an earthquake is predicted and everyone must evacuate immediately!  Imagine the urgency of getting to the airport on time to save your life, because if you don't catch this flight, you have a 90% chance of dying. > click > Now picture yourself driving your car to the airport, as you approach the end of the main road, you must make a left turn, but you can't, some how the road curves and you see yourself making a donut, you are stuck, and eventually you are exhausted of going in circles and trying to turn on a curve, it is just not possible, and you give up.  You experience the earthquake alone and survive, but you are left with some wounds that eventually turn into scars. This is how Zivanka experienced her life.

No one seemed to notice these scars though, and if by any chance, someone did get a glimpse of them, they wouldn't even bother to say or ask anything, people would just simply ignore it.  Zivanka was too shy, ashamed, and embarrassed that she was the only one who was incapable of making that left turn, and so she kept quiet, in hopes that people would not notice how dumb and stupid she believed she was........

....The earthquake experience became another learning point for Zivanka...she continued living by the past, didn't look to the future (a distant magical and surreal place), and couldn't grasp the present.  She continued dying her life.

How to Heal Your Holistic Self | eHow.com

How to Heal Your Holistic Self | eHow.com

Anthony Kiedis + John Frusciante Under the Bridge

You Are

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.  ~ Anatole France

An Inspirational Short Story You Are
By Author Unknown

One day not too long ago the employees of a large company in St. Louis, Missouri returned from their lunch break and were greeted with a sign on the front door. The sign said: "Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym."

At first everyone was sad to hear that one of their colleagues had died, but after a while they started getting curious about who this person might be. The excitement grew as the employees arrived at the gym to pay their last respects. Everyone wondered: "Who is this person who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he's no longer here!"

One by one the employees got closer to the coffin and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood over the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.

There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: "There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU."

YOU are the only person who can revolutionize your life. YOU are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. YOU are the only person who can help yourself.

Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes.

Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that YOU ARE the only one responsible for your life.

Bikram Yoga ~ Benefits of Postures

Standing Pranayama Breathing

• Mental relaxation
• Detoxification
• Works the   nervous, respiratory and circulatory systems

Half Moon

• Helps lower back pain, constipation, obesity of stomach, bronchi distress, scoliotic,   deformities, frozen shoulders
• Works deltoid, trapezius, pectoralis major and hamstings
• Exercise the colon, pancreas and kidney

Awkward Pose

• Helps to open   pelvic area, alleves joint pain and arthritis of the knees, strengthens lower   limbs, relieves sciatica, improves flexibility in toes and ankles
• Works quadriceps and deltoids

Eagle

• Strengthens lower extremities, joint mobility for hip girdle and all 12 major joints. By creating pressure in the joints and releasing allows fresh blood supply to flow   in.
• Control of sexual energies, improves function of central nervous system

Standing Head to Knee

• Improves concentration, avoids sciatica by improving circulation and flexibility, reduces   diabetes, strengthens back muscles and nerves
• Works the muscular, skeletal, reproductive and digestive systems

Standing Bow

• Increases circulation to the heart and lungs
• Improves elasticity of the spine by compressing the spine
• Helps with lower back pain
• Opens diaphram and lungs

Balancing Stick

• Increases blood flow all over the body at the same time
• Clears arteries
• Builds strength in lower extremities
• Works the pancreas, kidney and spleen
• Works muscular, reproductive, nervous, and circulatory system

Separate Leg Stretching

• Helps for constipation, abdominal obesity and hyper-acidity
• Increases circulation to the brain and adrenal glands
• Good for small and large intestines

Triangle

• Good for kidneys
• Helps chemical imbalances in the system
• Helps colitis constipation, hip and back pain, spondilitis, general mobility and menstrual   disorders
• Cardiovascular benefits
• Works   circulatory, digestive, immune and reproductive systems

Standing Separated Leg Head to Knee

• Helps abdominal obesity, diabetes, thyroid, blood and sugar balance, pancreas and kidneys
• Works endocrine, reproductive, and digestive systems
• Works obliques, iliosoas, quads and deltoids, trapezius, biceps and triceps

Tree Pose

• Creates hip and knee mobility
• Releases abdominal tension
• Helps inflammation of the lower back

Toe Stand

• Creates balance in the body and the mind
• Strengthens stomach muscles
• Helps with arthritis, knee problems and gout pain
• Strengthens weak joints

Floor   Wind Removing Pose

• Helps   constipation, flatulence and hyper acidity
• Massages   ascending colon, descending and transverse colon

      The Cobra Series (Cobra,   Locust, Full-Locust and Bow)

• Works to compress   and open up the spine
• Each posture   works a specific section of the spine
• Creates spinal   changes, helps lower back pain, scoliosis and cervical   spondylosis

Fixed Firm

• Strengthens and   improves flexibility of lower spine, knees and ankle joints
• Helps to cure   sciatica, gout and rheumatism in the legs
• Helps varicose   veins
• Helps to cure and   prevent hernia

Half Tortoise

• Provides maximum   relaxation
• Cures   indigestion, constipation and flatulence
• Stretches lower   part of the lungs – good for emphysema and asthma
• Helps   diabetes

Camel

• Strengthens   muscles in the back and shoulders
• Produces maximum   compression of the spine, stimulating the nervous system
• Improves   flexibility of the neck and spine
• Relieves   backache
• Helps   kypho-scolitic deformities

Rabbit

• Stretches spine,   maximum extension – opposite of Camel
• Helps maintain   mobility and elasticity of spine and back muscles
• Nurtures the   nervous system, brings blood to the brain, helps cure depression
• Helps   diabetes
• Helps with colds,   sinus problems, chronic tonsillitis, sore throats and strep throat
• Good for thyroid,   parathyroid and larynx

Head to Knee with Stretching

• Helps to balance blood sugar level, especially good for diabetes
• Good for the immune system, stimulates the thymus
• Improves kidney function
• Increases circulation to the liver and the spleen, pancreas, thyroid, thymus and   intestines

Spine Twisting

• Only posture that twists the spine from top to bottom at the same time
• Improves flexibility of spine and hip joints
• Helps prevent slip discs
• Increases circulation and nutrition to spinal nerves, veins and tissues
• Helps sciatica
• Improves digestion
• Helps tennis elbow

Kapalbhati Breathing

• Helps to rid body of toxins
• Good for emphysema and other respiratory ailments
• Stengthens, massages and increases circulation to the abdominal organs and muscles,    including the diaphram
• Good against high   blood pressure and good for the heart

http://www.bikramyoganyc.com/health_benefits.htm

First Rule: Love & Value Yourself

I have been doing a lot of self reflection & self realization lately;  more than usual, at least it seems so to me.  Although what I am about to say may appear as common sense to most, it isn't necessarily so, but a fundamental ingredient required to live well is ~ SELF VALUE.  If one feels worthy of themselves, they will in turn love themselves, and therefore take care of themselves by living a healthy and nourishing life, physically, intellectually, and spiritually.  How does one obtain self value?  It is learned from the beginning of life, inside the womb, from our mother, father,  brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, babysitters, teachers, and society.  I had been missing this key ingredient in my life.  Whether I was taught about self worth/value or not, I do not know for sure, but I do know that in this present moment, I am undoubtedly aware what this means and how important it is.  Maybe I did learn it and then it faded.  One thing is certain, I will never forget this lesson until I die or become ill.  A quote from one of my favorite books:  "When we love something it is of value to us, and when something is of value to us we spend time with it, time enjoying it, and time taking care of it.." ~ From THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED by M. Scott Peck, M.D. ~  Questions I used to ask myself:  Am I growing my soul? Is life a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through? And do we fail when we wish to elect a state and remain in it? wouldn't that be kind of a death? I seem to keep falling in this pattern of electing certain states to remain secure and find peace, but is that really where I belong...is that genuine peace or just temporary,  I think not.. the question is how do I find what I'm looking for if it's a mystery?   How I used to feel:If you love someoneThey will hurt youIf you trust someoneThey will lie to youIf you need someoneThey will leave youIf you want someoneYou can't have themIf you care NO ONE WILL CARE ABOUT YOU(This is an unfortunate perspective for one to have, but the good news is that it is changeable.) 

Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ~ Buddha quote ~   1.  FIND SOME TIME TO FOCUS ON YOU:  find a tranquil place where you can detach yourself from your normal surroundings so that you can focus on you.  Think about your life and ask yourself if you are genuienly happy.  Cultivate your mind, reflect on yourself, and don't let false happiness direct your path.  Peace comes from inside, not the external factors such as money, friends, cars, houses, alcohol, drugs, gambling, clothes, etc.   These things only satisfy you in the instant and quickly fades.  Ways in which you can find this inner peace that most of us lack are by getting involved in meditation, yoga, tai chi or through exploring other religious beliefs.

Namaste ~